RS: is it because i’m a woman?

I’m the one with the spec sheets. I’m the one who thought of this project in the first place. I’m the one who lost sleep wondering, “Pine or cedar?” and, “How will I know if it’s been responsibly harvested?” I’m the one stockpiling paint chips and stain samples. I memorized the item number! He hasn’t […]

sense: how to deal with not making it

I tend to gravitate toward people whose lives make no sense.  I can’t explain it. I like it. I like them. I like their fearless, and even fearful, excitement about doing the right thing, even in the face of no money, no spouse, no privacy, and lots of rules about what you cannot drink or flush. They stride straight — or […]

cliff diving & chicken parm: a love story

My husband is amazingly confident. He walks like he knows where he wants to go and how to get there. And without tripping. When he questions himself, it’s a crisis. When I question myself, it’s Tuesday. If you ever should see the two of us together, this will become abundantly clear. He’ll be standing there, shoulders […]

radiant little monsters

Since we last talked, I’ve morphed into a part-time insomniac. I am still sick. I took a “How anxious are you?” quiz (stupid, stupid, stupid) and ranked severe. In unrelated news, I have sworn off symptom-googling. This is the first long-term illness that I really remember. It is surprisingly lonely, with a touch of scary. I want normalcy for Christmas. You may […]

moving on

We’re out. We’ve moved. That’s it. The apartment is free of all dirt and dog fur. Yesterday, we did it all — vacuumed cupboard interiors, washed both sides of the windows, scrubbed the trim, polished the porch light. It took six hours. Ella lay in her bed in the empty apartment, yawning while we scurried around with our […]

preparedness

I have enough time on my lunch break to buy coffee and deliver it to my husband at work. It took me eight months to realize this. Do you ever spend hours — nay, weeks — trying to invent something kind to do for someone — and then find that all the while the most awesome option was dangling […]