restoration saga: how does an engineer destroy a floor?

Answer: In the most complicated way possible.

Mission: To remove the particle board floor from the poor, tortured 1938 hardwood.

Solution 1 (beat wildly at it with a hammer) didn’t work. Enter engineer.

Solution 2:

1. Try hammer. No workee?



2. No problem. Collect at least four shovels. Wedge them under crappy floor.

3. Beat them in as far as possible with a creative assortment of tools. Possibly make wild yelling noises.


4. Because the floor is both nailed and glued down, pry out any remaining nails.

4b. There will be thousands.

4c. Wear a respiratory mask to muffle your cursing of previous home owners and to keep from punching your teeth out. 

5. Are the shovels ready? Good.


6. Sit on them.

7. (Smile for the camera.)


8. Voila. Floor chunk. Repeat sixteen times.


And you thought this would be simple.

{Thanks to my brother Eric (known elsewhere by his street name French Press) for spending your spring break on projects that no one else wants to do. Also for being cool. Also for picking a major that will enable you to support the rest of your artist-type siblings for the rest of our lives, amen.}

4 thoughts on “restoration saga: how does an engineer destroy a floor?

  1. Pingback: restoration saga: hvac hates us. | la corbeille

  2. Pingback: RS: before & during: bathroom | la corbeille

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