This week, I shop toilets. It is as exciting as it sounds.
I have discovered that companies feel a great glowing pride toward their toilets. They are excited. Descriptions read like recycled sports car advertisements — ours are the sleekest, the fastest, the strongest, the most modern and stylish and streamlined. Not like those other toilets.
I want to pull aside a sales associate and ask, “Are these new toilets or are they still for what I think they’re for?”
Alas. We are sanitized. Distanced. Look how pretty.
Pretty, pretty toilets.